I feel distracted, having a lot of trouble keeping up.
Basically I’m very disappointed in myself.
Hopefully I’m not coming down with anything serious, but I don’t feel well. I’m kind of nauseous, with heart burn and gas problems.
Thoughts going through my head are along the lines of “gosh I hate my body.” At first specific body parts; my digestive system, my stomach, all the areas that are uncomfortable as I try to go to sleep. But then I have to conclude that it’s not just those parts, it’s everything. In the words of BASEketball, [my body] was a team effort and it took everybody working together to lose this one.
It’s not really my body that sucks. Considering what I’ve done to it, I could probably be in worse shape. That’s what really makes me hate myself. I could probably overcome these ‘problems’ of mine with a little hard work, some new attitudes about things. But for nearly 20 years, I haven’t. And that’s such a long period of time with no real beneficial change in my diet or exercise programs, that I can’t help but look at it like its never going to happen.
I’m going to be like this, or worse, for the rest of my life.
I don’t see any speed bumps or course corrections in the foreseeable future.
Anyway, still half way finished on a bunch of stuff I started last week, from new Radio EdSoft Films, to the reviews of Ghost Rider and The Secret World Of Arriety And photos too I guess.
Tomorrow is another holiday, dunno if I’ll be online or not. Hope you’ll bother to check in.
‘Til Monday. Or zzzz, woah I literally typed zzzz because I’m falling asleep.