Apr 292012
 

What is this, a Sunday blog? It wasn’t supposed to be this way!

I’m not going to dwell on it, though, just gotta keep posting when I can.

I haven’t learned much, mostly because it takes half the class twice as long to keep up, but I’m getting through it. It can get a little aggravating, or more often boring.

Writing these posts should really be a morning thing, I’m just out of it at the end of the day. I can’t believe I used to do all of my writing overnight. I can’t even imagine staying up all night anymore. It’s sad, in a way.

I sometimes get these panic moments where I wonder if I should be doing this job in general. What’s that line from Fight Club? “Advertising has us chasing cars and clothes, working jobs we hate so we can buy shit we don’t need.” Not that I should really be listening that hard to Tyler Durden.

I get the sense that this kind of job would be a lot more bearable, more acceptable, if I had a family of my own, that is that I somehow joined or created without the family that came before me. I notice all these other people I work with, they have children, husbands or wives, boyfriends or girlfriends. I see these people and I try to figure out how I fit in, if I do at all. It’s a struggle.

Finding the motivation for living is a tricky thing, and I’m trying. I can’t get over this sense of dread that I’ll never really figure it out, though. I keep going, but why? I don’t know.

I try to picture myself in these scenarios with other people, but it always looks fake and unnatural. I always feel like I shouldn’t be so lonely, but when I think about it I almost have to consider myself lucky that I am. Imagine how fucked up my life would be if I actually had to care about other people. Could I even do it? How long before I get totally bored and have to pretend I’m interested in this other person? I see that all the time too, so I can’t really feel that bad about myself.

Then again, it’s only after you’ve lost everything that you’re free to do anything.

Apr 222012
 

Oh crap. It’s Sunday.

Gotta put something up…so tired. Sore. Achey. But I’ll be okay.

I’m out in Sacramento for my training. I’m not sure how it’s going to go, but I’ll try to make a report on anything interesting.

I’m sure there’s lots of things to do here in the state capitol. People tell me there’s lots of restaurants. There’s a minor league baseball team. There’s a historic train museum. I also have at least one friend near by.

Should be an eventful week. Can I keep up with this site at the same time? We’ll see.

Other things to note: still need to review 3 movies, new tv shows, and records. Last Saturday was record store day, and I splurged. That should come later though.

Anyways, hang tight everyone.

Apr 172012
 

Had a few dreams last night. Freshest one found me lighting fire crackers on the sidewalk by my house. I get a little freaked out when I see thus bright red light, thinking I started a fire, but after frantically trying to find that fire to put it out, I realize it’s just an especially vibrant sunrise.

This begs the question, why was I lighting fire crackers before dawn?

What’s that line in The Lord Of The Rings about a red dawn? Blood has been spilt this night? I don’t think my subconscious was working on that level.

The actual sunrise was not so vibrant.

Sunrise

Sunrise...what sunrise?

Interestingly, the sleep report suggests I finally got a good night sleep:

Sleep report for April 16-17, 2012

See those valleys? I never get those! It’s cool. I wonder if it has anything to do with me sleeping the opposite direction on my bed. Maybe I’ve been getting up on the wrong side this whole time. I suppose I’ll find out tonight.

Apr 152012
 

10 weeks!

But it’s really been more like 8.

I didn’t bring my laptop with me the last two weeks, mostly because of a lack of sleep and a case of sickness.

I just didn’t feel like working, you know? I certainly didn’t feel like leaving 2 hours early to write this blog. I had a hard enough time getting out the door on time for my actual job.

It’s a bad habit though, this not writing thing.

Since I haven’t had my computer, and I haven’t been writing, why have I spent any money at Starbucks? It’s just stupid, now that I think about it. Here’s hoping that next year, I can write off all that coffee on my taxes.

Speaking of, I just finished last year’s taxes, and I should get $34 back! Ugh.

It is pretty expensive though, this coffee habit. It’s good to have some place to work and so on, but is it worth the money I don’t have? Probably not.

But if I don’t go to Starbucks, what will happen to this blog?

I guess I’ll keep going until I run out of cash on my Starbucks card.

So what’s to look forward to?

I feel like I still owe you a review for Casa De Mi Padre and John Carter. I’ll get to it. Also, last week, in spite of my sickness, I went and saw Lockout at an advance screening. I wrote about Ghost Rider, I can write about Lockout.

It’s the beginning of a new season for many TV shows, specifically anime. There’s at least a few shows I want to watch, and I should find the time to talk about them here.  Sometime this week I’ll come up with a post of what I’m looking forward to, at least.

Also, in the last two weeks, Major League Baseball has started back up. I’m not sure if there’s much for me to say about it yet, but maybe I can come up with something.

Anyway, it’s already pretty late, and this post has too many short paragraphs. I think it’s time for bed. Goodnight everybody.

Apr 112012
 

Still feeling kinda sick from the weekend. I don’t feel like I’m sleeping enough. I’m almost definitely not eating right. And the weather is very oppressive.

To put it bluntly: Regular posts will resume when I can shit normally again*.

*Regular posts may never resume.

You were warned!

 Posted by at 7:36 am  Tagged with:
Apr 082012
 

Been sick, and tired all week. No writing. Bad Ed.

Hopefully next week will be better.

Have a zen Kermit in the mean time.

http://instagr.am/p/JLkKX4nZ6G/

Apr 022012
 

Fading fast from memory, but my dream last night came out of nowhere.

I was in some place like France, at some kind of cavern/Victorian era natural history museum, with offices next to the Louvre or something. And I was there doing some type of da Vinci code bullshit with this random spy woman I’ve never met, on contract by Death itself. Had to run through this cave and trip alarms and pick up some kind of deed. Get split up from the chick, end up on the street where Death is waiting in a car, sitting next to him is whatever the fuck this thing in panel 7 is.

Deliver the deed, death speeds off, and that’s the end.

What could it mean?

Anyway, here’s the sleep chart, maybe somebody can put 2 and 2 together.

Sleep report for April 1-2, 2012

Sleep report for April 1-2, 2012

Apr 012012
 

Oh right it’s Sunday.
April 1st at that.

It’s a little too late in the day for me to be coming up with April Fools jokes, but what I do have is this year’s edition of worldOne on Radio EdSoft Films. I think it came out pretty good. Have a listen below (pre-announce version, all music in other words, not ready for terrestrial broadcast but perfect for an internet player).

Last week was pretty packed, now that I think about it. I got my first full month’s paycheck, I went to a wonderful symphony, I posted a nearly 2000 word review of two movies, got some stuff done at the radio station, and I made two radio shows.

Still not satisfied, of course, got a ways to go. I still need to review two more movies, and record the terrestrial versions of these radio shows, with a lot of other KECG related stuff to follow. I missed out on a chance to go to a Warriors game with family. I didn’t get to go swimming, now for two weeks in a row. I had a lazy weekend, doing practically nothing.

But there’s always stuff to look forward to. Baseball returns to the bay area TOMORROW, and I’m going. Just had a nightmare realization that I have no idea how I’m going to park near PacBell Park…

While I’m sharing radio shows, I hope you will listen to this other show too, heavily influenced by the Zelda symphony from last week. I’m really proud of both of the radio edsoft films this week. Please give them a listen. When I get around to recording the announcements, I’ll give them their own posts. Consider this a preview.